Dearest E

TITLE: Dearest E

AUTHOR: Hannah K.

ARTIST: Nivi

Dearest E, 

I fear the truth will surface on its own before I have the chance to tell you myself; it is this that urges me to write to you now. 

Possibly, I am too late and you have already gone and wed him, but I beg you to at least read this parchment my heart has poured over. 

You have known me most of my life, and I you. We have fought, but we have also loved one another through it all. I do not know who I am most days, but I have always known you. I have lived every moment of my life believing that you will be a part of it. 

Our love has been a platonic one but I cannot in good conscious live without telling you the truth of how I feel.

I love you, E. You are the very sun in which I orbit, the soil of the earth that I adore. I wish to sit by your side for the rest of your life, and watch the way you smile when you think no one is listening. Your laughter, the real one where you snort and immediately look embarrassed, is the very sound I dream of to make my worst nights lessen in pain. I want to have you in my arms till our breaths stop.

I have fallen in love with you a million ways and dreamt of our lives intertwined romantically for much of my life. I understand that a love like ours is forbidden by most, but I would prefer a life by your side seen as just a friend than to be without you for eternity. All that has ever mattered to me is that you love me as fiercely as I do you; to hell with what the world sees. 

Perhaps I have deluded myself in my desperation, but I swear upon God himself that you must feel the same as I. Every brush of my fingertips upon your skin has your cheeks burning red. Yet you never retract your arm, simply avoid my gaze as if that would be enough to sway me away. The times in which you touch me have me reeling with emotion and I have done little to hide it from you. I want you to see the truth of us. The truth that will not leave your side.

It will take you telling me to leave for my presence to fade. I will stay with you for as long as you will have me. You are the reason I wake up in the mornings and I cannot imagine leaving on my own accord. 

So, here I am desperately begging you to not marry him. Please. Say that you love me too, say it and I am yours. We will find a way, I promise, I will find a way to you. All I need is confirmation that I have not driven myself to madness for an unrequited love. 

Please.

Forever wanting you,

J. 

Dear J,

I have found your correspondence alarming and unwanted. Whatever you believe you have seen in me is likely a projection of your own horrible imaginings. I encourage you to seek help, and I ask that you do not contact me anymore. I am now married and have no such time for long dead friendships.

E.