Let us out
- The Elysian Chronicles
- May 19
- 3 min read
"Let us out" by Hannah

Artwork by Flavija
I’m losing her. That little girl in my shadow… she’s fading.
Every time my chest felt tight, there she was, hiding beneath my ribs and pounding her fists against the hollow of my chest.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
She tried to tell me something was wrong, but I ignored her. I had priorities for our future—the much greater and more important version of us.
She was quiet at first and it was almost peaceful. She watched as I kept chasing the perfection we were destined to achieve.
Ambition is good in a young girl; intelligence is praised. Don’t let these talents go to waste, be the change in the world.
You can do anything
You should do everything.
Do well in school, it’s just a few hours.
School is your job
Gosh you really are amazing!
She didn’t mind the school day—she loved them, even. She could read and explore and learn and everything is so exciting!
School became more difficult, but we worked it out together. An hour of homework a day is nothing.
When my one hour of homework became two she stayed quiet. Very thoughtful of her to understand what I’m going through; a prioritization necessary for the both of us.
When two became three she complained a little but nothing a little treat couldn’t fix. Then two became three (she was getting frustrated), three turned to four (she was feeling angry), four stretched to five (her rage couldn’t be contained), until five became more like six…
(...)
Six plus six is twelve; twelve hours of the day spent working and waiting for my future to come and congratulate me.
At some point, she couldn’t take the waiting any longer.
She shrieked and dug her nails into my lungs, clawing them to shreds. She cried until my airways were blocked. She hurled acid into my eyes and tore the skin from my hands. She pried chunks of flesh from my mind until all my thoughts were left in a perpetual fog. Headaches plagued me constantly, until there was only enough of me left to hate myself.
To hate her.
I’M TIRED OF THIS. She repeats her mantra like a broken record. Day and night, day and night, day and night. Every. Single. Second.
LET ME SLEEP, LET ME REST, LET ME STOP.
It’s fine, everything is fine. I need you to calm down though, this is getting out of hand.
I’M TIRED OF THIS. She never relents, why can’t she just let me do this? Just a little longer and we’ll be all set for the rest of our lives. Just a little longer.
I’M TIRED OF YOU. Ah, that’s the root of it isn’t it.
You’re tired of me? Well I hate to burst your bubble but I’m fucking tired of you.
YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING FOR ME. EVER.
Well, that’s a little selfish, don’t you think?
YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE.
Of course I care, everything I do is for our future. What don’t you understand?
BUT WE’VE DONE IT ALREADY.
What?
We’ve done everything we can. She’s quieter now.
It’s not enough, you need to give your best for just a little longer, okay?
There’s nothing more of me to give. Her voice splinters.
There’s a pause.
What do you mean there’s nothing more…
It’s all gone. I’ve been trying to tell you this. I’m… You’ve bartered away every last part of me. Of us.
No, that can’t be right. I’ve been doing this for us. They told me this would make us happy, that it would be worth it, I know—
They lied.
They lied…
I’m tired.
I know. I am too.
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