AUTHOR: Ara
EDITOR: Aqibah
ARTIST: Flavija
She wakes up in sleep-laced eyelids and a cradle of sweat. Blanket knotted, thrown astray. Her bedroom is lopsided when she blinks away the dreams. This is how it is each morning: when the nightmare fades, when the day seeps through the curtains, she is new.
She is new,
she is new,
she is new,
she is new.
She makes her bed and cleans the pillows. She counts how many strands of hair have fallen out. Years ago, there were more black hairs than white. Now she finds them, white, hardly ever black. She writes down her findings as a percentage, on the spreadsheet she pins up on the wall.
Her breakfast is one of the following: devilled eggs, potatoes and gravy, stale bread and homemade strawberry compote, rigatoni from the smiley man who sells them across the street, half a kebab from last night, a salad bowl when it’s a Good Day. The clock smiles at her and cheerfully ticks away:
You’re new.
You’re new.
You’re new.
You’re new.
On the bus ride to the library (forty years’ work as a librarian! they cheer in acknowledgement every library anniversary) she unknots her tangled hair (this morning, 94.6% white). She wonders what day this will be. Good Day, Medium Good Day, Decent Day, Long Day. She will decide on the bus ride home.
Today the sun shines a little brighter than usual. Today the smiley rigatoni man smiles a bit wider than usual. This means she is (a) given preparation via a bright start before a Long Day, (b) high on luck and fortune, (c) starting to find that things are more colorful than they seem. The man sitting in front of her reads a fresh newspaper. There is a smiling woman in a flashy streaming service advert. WHAT SONG COMES NEXT? YOU DECIDE. Her teeth are a sickening white and her hair is still 100% black and her dress is ironed down perfectly.
Today the sun shines a little brighter than usual. She wonders what day this will be.
New day!
New day!
New day!
New day!
She won’t decide on the bus ride home. She’ll decide now.
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