Signals at 11:43P.M.

"Signals at 11:43P.M." by Yinle

In my bed / I am an island / floating, sitting, waiting, / Shuttle between apps / double–tap / ‘Fingers flit so quickly you may as well be Yiruma’ / Dopamine Serotonin Anything to keep it going / Convince myself I exist / Watch and re–watch the same archives / Construct the self through the lens of another / Stretch my arms out / Connection / 长手 becomes 长寿 / So maybe their touch can heal me / My pain is only real if you share it / Empathy / I think I was born defect / Why can’t I feel? / Is this a work of / prose or / poetry / How grotesque my pretension may be / Remind me that I exist / And / this / keeps / going / What is the point / the point! / of all this / will it make me any realer / ? / At the very end / I think we are just / human / (I don’t know what that is) / But also, / I think I was born / with loneliness / carved, in oracle bone script, / down my spine.  

Notes:

长手 (cháng shôu): long arms

长寿 (cháng shòu): long life