Vah Zou
Life as a mother is just another form of learning and growing. What does it even mean to be a mother? I am not sure of it myself. But there are moments when I get a feeling that maybe moments like now are the reason for my existence.
“Mom, I am going. Say bye!” My daughter looked really cute in her adorable little school uniform. It was her first day and she had in her arms a doll I bought for her. Of course, she couldn’t take her ‘baby’ to her classes to accompany her. But I still waved to the doll entertainingly, hoping to amuse her.
You never know how fast kids grow up. One moment they are lying in your arms asking you to sleep with them for fear of the dark, or thunder; another, they ask you to stay away from their room. It brings out a chuckle from my throat when I reminisce about the supposed ‘good old days’ and compare them to her teenage years.
“Mom, I am leaving!” She called out. Her first day in high school. Her beloved doll; ‘child’, now no more in need. It was left unattended and stored away in some room below the house. The basement being used as a room to keep intact all the items worth much too many precious memories to be disregarded as if they meant nothing.
Life is just a circle. Your daughter turns into you… or does she? It becomes hard to understand what life even means when all you can feel is the pain of living. But what makes it worth surviving is the little moments of happiness which accumulate to form memories that you can fondly look back on.
“Mom, I am going. Stay safe. Say bye love.” The doll changed into a man. No more was the position occupied by googly eyes and hair that was thread and wool,but an actual breathing human being. I wave bye to my daughter and her husband. They make a cute couple.
Life repeats itself. The cycle of life is merely a circle, repetitions occurring at birth, that is, the beginning of life, and at death, the end.
“Say bye to grandma,” My daughter taught her daughter. “Bye! Grandma!” She yelled out as she ran after her father to the porch. My daughter looking on with an exhausted smile. Back in her hands was the doll she used to play with as a kid, now her daughter’s.
The circle of life is now closed. Everything is as should be. And it is time for life to continue another round, just with different people.
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